Conversations with God
I've been feeling great lately. Usually during my worst times, I found myself having these conversations with God. I've shared this with some close friends but thought it's time to let my readers in:
A couple years ago, I was going through this crappy phase where I questioned why many of my relationships were failing: family, friends, lovers, enemies... the whole shabang. I resorted to God and all he had to say was, "Focus on our relationship and I will fix the rest." See, in the midst of my failed connections, I was simultaneously neglecting the greatest relationship, thus causing a domino effect. It worked out because instead of mopping around, I used the time I would have normally spent with someone to nurture my relationship with God. More recently, and after the Great Expectations of post-grad life, I began feeling as if I've outgrown old companions; I soon found myself wondering who my friends were. I was never the girl with a huge group of friends therefore not seeing or hearing from anyone was a very abrupt change. Once more, God listened and gave me the most rational and simple solution:
do nothing, so, nothing I did.
I stepped back and observed how some of the people I cared for could care less about checking up on me or drop a simple greeting. Days turned into weeks and even months where I wouldn't hear from "friends." Like energy in relationships, effort and time is a major giveaway. They are finite and we have full control over how much we give away. Beyond the threshold of tolerance, no one will waste those two on someone they don't really have a care for. You wouldn't and neither would I, test it out and see for yourself. Don't throw your towel in too quick, mind you, these occurrences and epiphany happened over the course of several months to about a year. I don't care whom you believe in although I've constantly shared my triumph with God on my side, every single time. Meditate, pray or whatever you do to mend your spirit until you're at peace. When do you achieve peace exactly? When nothing about your circumstance has changed, except your mindset and the steps you're taking to overcome it.