Wishes

Happy Birthday to me !

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
— Maya Angelou (1928-2014)

I've long thought of this birthday for years now. I recall starting college at 16 and wishing to be juuust a bit older like my peers; by the time I bloomed into 18, everyone was entering their 20s. I loathed being "the baby" in the crowd so I concealed my age from many people...and the fact that I was so young anyway kept me home a lot. It's all so silly, I know, but seriously, what college freshmen wants to stay in or get rejected at the door on Thirsty Thursday?

In the moment and over the years, that feeling lingered and still roams occasionally. What I learned is how futile it was to wish you were a day older or younger. I can look back with much regrets and envy to be older but these useless desires won't change my birthdate by a second. God thrusted me into the big people pool, ready or not, knowing it will teach me the maturity and wisdom I will need in a few years. I still question Him on days I'm stumped and lost, but I am disciplining myself with an attitude of gratitude for the things I have yet to comprehend.

At 21, there isn't anything in mind that I must ask for as a gift. The combination of recent personal experiences, the #prayerproject from January and this overall blogging journey and receiving many positive feedbacks opened my eyes to the futility of material things (if you must, you can always get me some Jeffrey Campbell's size 7.5, please and thanks.) I won't deny the pretty balloons and yummy checkered chocolate cake but the balloons will deflate and cake will always be eaten ! My wish for this new year? Give me something I can feel with my heart and not always with my hands. 

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