Hello February ! I will be straightforward and honest: 2017 was the most life changing year for me yet. I felt as if I lost control of my surroundings and I'll admit I didn't quite bother to chase them back into order. I let myself go mentally, emotionally and physically, and frankly, I allowed myself to go through the motions of my lows, because there must be a light eventually, right? There were some low lows, such as when I moved and being completely alone for the first time, and some incredible highs, like going to New Orleans for my 24th birthday and hosting our #BlackGirlCreative event over the summer. Sharing all of this via social media was not part of the agenda, I respect my growing pains and what it had to teach me, and I needed to tune out the noise of what could have, should have and would have beens to do that.
First, concerning others: physically moving away has allowed me to see the true colors of people and I'm relieved for the broken ties. It's not personal, and I wish everyone well, but if you haven't brought mental, emotional, physical or spiritual support in my life then I can do without you. As kind-hearted humans, we accept a lot of things and settle. We spend an immense amount of energy casting our cares towards things that do not truly deserve it. As consciously as I can, I refuse to get angry or resent people especially if I sense their initial intention was to steal my energy. I will not allow people to take my peace and leave me with anger or anxiety. I will not allow people's action towards me to have control over my feelings and outlook on my life. I cannot afford to feel these feelings anymore so much that once as soon as I sense it, I step away because I simply do not have the time for it. I will always remember this comparison that I once read in a devotional: imagine people were like trash bins, we carry around all types of burdens, stories and negative energy, and some individuals thrive and seek to dump that on anyone who cares to catch it because, misery loves company. Unless it's something you're choosing to inflict upon yourself, no one is asking you to linger so don't catch their BS.Maintaining a high frequency takes work, no doubt, but there's much more to reap at that level than remaining low; fake it till you make it, act what you want to attract.
Second, concerning your self: it's great to focus on what's coming and sow positive thoughts, but it's important to feel things: I'm talking about the raw, organic and sober feels. Call it a petty party or a reality check, but it's necessary for you to self-correct and actually give a fuck every now and then. That brings me to my favourite topics: self-care, self-improvement and manifestations. I'm reading more and practicing them, so be patient with me because it's also a journey. I've been writing more (that's a great thing for me!), incorporating my devotional and the Word into my morning routines, and recently clocking in at the gym again. How do I know I'm on the right path? I've found clarity and more purpose in my days, as well as whom I surround myself with. Oh, and peace -if the things you're chasing after doesn't incite or inspire peace, leave.
For me, self-care looks like: a day off, sleeping in past 12PM, drinking 2 cups of earl grey latte in bed, writing in my favorite notebook, finding new music, listening to old happy songs, making a playlist of all your happy songs, fresh air, going for a bus ride with my headphones, indulging in my guilty pleasure like fries and Twix, no makeup for days in a row, doing a face mask, washing my hair/detangling/french-braiding, trimming my nails and a new polish, organizing my closet, pretty lingerie and loungewear just because.
I'd love to know how you stay sane and what brings you happiness, so what does self-care look like to you?